Recently I’ve received some criticism for side-stepping the issue of my faith on this blog, for not utilizing Pie in the Sky as a platform to “proclaim the Gospel.” I’ve talked about marriage, girlhood dreams, and quoted the occasional Bible verse. But, no, I haven’t racked up Sunday school points with dissertations on weighty theological topics or devotionals on inspirational Christian meditations. The main reason for this is simple. This blog is primarily a detour from homework and nursing work and marriage, used as I have time like a guilty pleasure. Most of the posts you read are the result of on-the-whim procrastination, happening on rare days off when I should be writing papers or making my husband dinner. (In fact, this right here is a case in point.) The thoughts that seem the easiest to blast off in quick fashion are thoughts on the tangible world, like … hey, my husband is great … hey, I picked up a cute, vintage bike … hey, the carpenters around here are just Massachusetts hippies that want to be Vermont style red-necks …
There’s another side to it, too. I’m tired. My faith as it pertains to the way I live and the messages I speak has, at times, grown and flourished. It has also withered and wilted. I am not a person of rock solid religious consistency. Sometimes, I’m full of vinegar; and sometimes I’m full of stone. Sometimes, my faith explodes; other times, it atrophies. No need for great detail — I’ve never wanted Pie in the Sky to be overly personal — but the last three years of my life have seen my faith greatly reduced. Amidst all the hubbub of growing up, getting married, and moving away from my parents, the only speck of faith that I’ve seen persistently fruit is a simple prayer to patient God. “Lord, I’m tired. Thank you for being strong and waiting this out with me.”
I don’t see myself as in a place to preach any grandiose sermon. If the Gospel seems lacking on little Pie in the Sky, that’s why. However, I also hope that readers, as they come, hear this whispered hope of a faithful God — you’re too tired to put in the work, but He’s got your back. Where we are weak, He is strong. I think the thing that astonishes me most about Christ is His patience. Obviously, I’ve got some work to do, and obviously, Christians aren’t supposed to remain broken people, but in the interim, while we’ve had the wind knocked out of us, it’s okay to be empty, weak, limp and let Christ pick up the pieces. There is no guilt in being weak.
When I was a little girl, I called God “my Always.” It’s a little hokey, but it’s true.
Happy Tuesday, dear reader. I’m off to scramble through a paper and rejoice in the faithfulness and blessings a patient Lord.